When I was younger, my sister CALLED ME OUT. She looked at me and said "Katie, I am so sick of your AGB's." I will give Collier all of the credit here for coining a term that fundamentally changed my life.
ATTENTION GETTING BEHAVIOR: The way in which one acts or conducts oneself, especially toward others that results in someone regarding a person as interesting, important, or in need. Usually this behavior is presented in an over the top and entirely unnecessary nature.
The truth about people is that we like attention. Even people who have limited social skills crave human connection --- that is why so many people have now taken to the internet to give their opinions, tear things down, and cause a scene. It is a desperate attempt to stir the pot and, you guessed it, get attention. In the performing arts, we combine human nature with beauty, competition, and drive. That is a lethal combination for a massive amount of AGB's.
We are all guilty of them. Hell, I used to sneeze over dramatically if that meant someone would ask me if I was ok. I pretended I was afraid of horses and flying because I knew other people got attention for those fears. And it would for sure get me sympathy and a quick "Are you ok?" --- But here is the thing about AGB's: They are annoying and we all know that they are fake.
So artists, it is time to LEARN YOUR AGB's and QUIT THEM COLD TURKEY. They aren't serving you in the way that you think they are. They are simply a way of masking insecurities in yourself. In fact, I guarantee that they are hindering you from booking work, making meaningful relationships, and living truthfully in any circumstance {imaginary or otherwise}.
Here is a list of some common AGB's that you might want to stop doing right now, this moment, today.
VAGUEBOOKING
Posting a status that asks for "good vibes" for something without explanation. We get it, you are in callbacks for something and you want everyone to know. Why do you need us to know? And if you really want us to know --- tell us.
NAME DROPPING / SHIT TALKING
We get it. You know people. So do we. Unless you are trying to tell us something that is useful, interesting, or creatively fulfilling --- why are you talking about all the people "you know." Also, don't talk shit about anyone. You never know how people are connected to them. If you are so bored that you need to talk about other people in a non-productive way --- GO MAKE SOMETHING.
ONE-UPPING
Let people have their moment. There is NO NEED to constantly tell other people that you have done something cooler, worked somewhere flashier, or have had a better experience in the room. Sometimes it is better just to listen and enjoy someone else's company.
PARTY HOGGING
I know we are all trained to love being the center of attention --- get that applause girl. But at a party or industry event, you do not need to be the only person that we focus on. Let the room breathe a little. It is thrilling to let people come to you and have a real discussion about real things. Also -- don't be the person who makes everything about "the industry" at a party. We don't always have to talk about the current Broadway season, what's in each other's books, and how dismal audition season is. When in doubt, bring up travel --- people love to talk about where they want to go!
AGGRESSIVE DRAMA RECAPPING
No sentence should ever start, "I don't like drama but did you hear...." If you say that, you like drama. If something is hurting or affecting you in a real way, talk about that for sure. But don't spread shit just to spread it. We see you.
OVERCOMPENSATION AND EXCUSE MAKING
Sometimes things don't go your way. Loudly and aggressively making excuses is not going to help you or anyone you are talking to. If you have made a mistake, there is no need to make loads of excuses or overcompensate with kindness. Just tell the truth and apologize. Fellow adults will be grateful for the gesture and one of two things will happen: people will move on or they will let go. But there is NO NEED to send five follow up emails with reminders of how much you love someone and why the excuses are real.
Friends, these things don't go away quickly --- and we are all guilty of these everyday. Myself included! But once you become aware of WHY you are doing some of these things, it becomes much easier to let go of them. And when you do, your life will change. Your art will be richer, your relationships will be more fulfilling, and I promise you will get more work. People can smell bullshit and nobody likes being around it.
{AGB's are alive and well outside of the performing arts as well. But as this blog is geared towards artists, I made this list specifically for them. However, take some time and notice these things in muggles --- this list could be MUCH longer!}